How Social Anxiety Holds You Back
Social anxiety has a great impact on the quality of a person’s life. People who suffer from social anxiety order have a fear of social situations. This isn’t limited to large gatherings or public performances. This can include all types of social situations - even talking to a person one-on-one.
Fear of social situations can include interacting with new people one-on-one, talking on the telephone, shopping, driving, eating or drinking, writing, attending or hosting events, dating, performances, talking to authority figures, or even attending church. Social anxiety can basically have a great impact on every area of your life.
If you fear talking to other people - whether it is a one-on-one situation, a large group, or a small gathering, you could miss out on developing a fulfilling lifelong relationship. You miss out on finding new friends. The greatly reduces your circle of friends, and holds you back from having those wonderful relationships that you might have had - if you didn’t have social anxiety.
Social anxiety is famous for holding people back from advancing in their careers as well. If you can’t talk to your boss, or your co-workers, you can’t do your job effectively. People who have social anxiety get passed over for promotions often - not because anyone knows that they have social anxiety, but because they have a problem expressing themselves and talking to the people who determine who gets raises and promotions.
Social anxiety can rise to a point where a person eventually fears leaving their homes, answering the door, or even answering the telephone. Even mild cases of social anxiety can have a profound affect on your life - holding you back from the things that you want or need to do in your life.
Social anxiety can totally change the outcome of the life that you were supposed to live, by holding you back from situations that would greatly benefit you and improve your life in some way. This is why social anxiety disorder must be treated and overcome. It may never go away, but it can certainly be treated, and the fear that you experience can be reduced to a level that you can deal with. This will allow you to take advantage of all the opportunities that come your way throughout your life.
When you’ve learned to deal with your social anxiety, and your fear, you will find that the quality of your life has greatly improved. Instead of hiding from social interaction, you will eventually welcome it, and take advantage of all that those social interactions have to offer your life. You will be able to develop lifelong relationships and advance in your chosen career without being held back by social anxiety.
August 17th, 2007 at 3:45 am
Social anxiety is horrible! It has destroyed my life so far and probably will continue to make me miserable. I’m a smart person with a good heart. I know I could contribute a lot to the world if I didn’t have this problem. I have an undergraduate degree. I want to go to graduate school (and have well above the minimum grades required to get in), but again, I’m too afraid… I’ve heard a lot more professor-student interaction is required… You really end up getting to know your professors when you do projects/research together. I just can’t take it! I want to sit in the back in the corner like an undergrad can get away with! One of my majors was mathematics. As you probably know, there’s lots of demand for HS math teachers. I could probably get a job if I wasn’t terrified of the interview (I mean blurred vision stuttering terrified – no joke), but even if I did get past that, I’d have to deal with all those fellow teachers and administrators! I just can’t do it! I really don’t want to be a HS teacher anyhow, but it would be a sure thing for me if I didn’t have this problem… I’m the type of person who’ll go out of my way to help folks out. Seriously, I used to tutor (and help in other ways too) people I hardly knew back in HS and college free of charge. I’d even people who’d given me a hard time and been jerks to me (at least when I didn’t trip over my own words, I would). I’m not a greedy competitive jerk. I’d honestly probably give you the shirt of my back. Usually I’ll let you win the prize (whatever it is) even if I could bet you; I have what I need (love) and am in pursuit of the only other thing that matters (knowledge). I don’t argue/debate people for an ego boost (a lot is relative, opinion, and/or undeterminable, so why bother), and when I do have to correct somebody who misunderstands the conventionally accepted understanding of a concept or misstates an accepted fact (which isn’t often since I’m usually afraid to talk to people), I’m so polite and modest they honestly don’t know it… My score on the GRE was 1320 (that’s in the top 1%). I usually play myself down, but it’s just a fact that I’m probably smart enough to be a brain surgeon or some other elite thing. I’m probably the type of person who ought to be too. My patients would be people (not numbers with wallets) to me!!! I’ll probably never do anything though!!! Thankfully, I found a spouse who supports me financially. I can’t make it in the real world… Social anxiety is hell!
August 30th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I know exactly what you are going through. Please know that you are not alone. I have suffered with social anxiety disorder since I was a child. When I attended college to obtain my bachelor degree in psychology, I did not speak to anyone, and had no friends. I like you, also sat in the back of the room, and never participated in the class discussions. I was lucky that the professors never called on me, and since the classes were so big, no one noticed me. It was like I did not even exist. After graduating, I pursued my master’s degree in mental health counseling. I attended a small, private, university. I struggled throughout the entire program. I could not give class presentations, and the one presentation I did give, I shook so badly, and stumbled over my words, that the entire class was staring at me in shock. The professors were not very supportive of my situation (you’d think they would be since they were therapists). When I confided to the director of the program that I suffered from social anxiety disorder, and if it was possible for me to receive alternative accomodations to give the presentations, the director told me that the best thing I could do was leave the program. I left the meeting crying. However, I refused to leave the program. And, although I faced many challenges throughout, and wanted to quit many times, I hung in there, and managed to graduate. You are right graduate school is very different from undergraduate school. You are expected to participate in class discussions, and give presentations. It was extremely difficult for me to introduce myself the first day of class. I also had classmates tell me that I was too quiet. What I did was register with the disability office. It also helps to tell the professors that you suffer from SAD. Some of them will allow you to complete an alternative assignment instead of giving a presentation. You have so much potential. Most individuals with SAD do. However, the majority do not even finish high school, which really saddens me. Although, I cannot blame them. There is a stigma when it comes to mental illness, and most people are not accepting or supportive of individuals with a mental disorder, they are more accepting of someone with a visible disorder. I agree with you, SAD is hell, it affects each area of your life, and causes you to miss out on so much. However, there are treatments out there that can help. I have not found one that has been effective for me, but you may find one that is right for you. My suggestion to you is to not give up. You have too much potential. Don’t let SAD rob you of your dream of earning your degree.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
You guys sound like me. And I have the same exact GRE score as you TW (710q 610v). I am in graduate school currently, but luckily haven’t had to do too many hands on, group oriented things yet, as I’m terrible at doing things in front of others, and always end up over thinking things and somehow screwing up and looking retarded. I’m so shy, and this has influenced how I prefer to work on my own with a computer and paper, than in a more interactive setting such as a wet lab or something like that. Just thought I’d chime in and say ya’ll aren’t alone.